I was doing a project with 3 other project mates, one of whom was Malay (let’s call her Siti) and the other two were Chinese. We got along quite well and overall the project was smooth-sailing and everything turned out fine. However, there were some situations when I thought my friends and I, who were Chinese, were not being sensitive towards our Malay project mate.
Due to the presence of a Malay project member, English would be our main conversational language during meetings. However, my friends and I were quite accustomed to communicating in mandarin when speaking among ourselves. Hence, we had the tendency of communicating with Siti in English when discussing about the project and switching to mandarin unknowingly when speaking to each other. There was no conflict observed in this scenario but this had resulted in some awkward moments for Siti. Sometimes, she would smile sheepishly at us to hide the awkwardness of not knowing what to say and would wait for us to finish our conversation. At times, she would look down on her paper, appearing to be engrossed in her own work since she could not be part of the conversation. After realizing her awkwardness, we tried to refrain from speaking mandarin during our project meetings.
This was an intercultural barrier where there was a difference in the language spoken. Despite getting along well, Siti would still feel left out in the group as she was the only Malay and the only one who did not understand the Chinese language. We were being insensitive towards Siti’s uneasiness and did not put ourselves in her shoes. Speaking in a “foreign” language when she was present and excluding her from the conversation was increasing the intercultural barrier instead of breaking it. Through this incident, I learnt to be more empathetic and sensitive towards friends of other races.
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6 comments:
Hi Xue Xin,
I have the same opinion with you that in life, we had to handle a lot of projects be it at school or at work. Working with group mates from different races is unavoidable. Once in awhile, you will end up in situations like what you mentioned in your intercultural scenario. I was in your situation when I was in my secondary school life, when my friend and I was talking to each in Chinese, my other friend will tend to remind us by saying, “Channel 5 please!”.
I had the same experience with you but in a different way. When I was working as a part timer, my company threw me a farewell party. All of the staff was invited to the party. All of the staff was Chinese except one of us is Malay. Due to our ignorance, we didn’t prepare the food to be halal. Pork was used as one of the ingredients. She was rather frustrated with us for forgetting her presence in this party celebration. We were very sorry about that. We end up ordering some Pizzas for her. She did understand and did join in the celebration. Glad to see that she didn’t walk off the place without a word, but with a warm hug for me.
Thus, communication effectively doesn’t involve only concentrating on what the other half is trying to say. Knowing and understanding the cultural of the other person does play an important role too.
Cheers!
Wendy
Hi xue xin,
I had also encountered the same problem as you too. Since, Singapore is a multi-racial country, having a non-Chinese project-mate or friends are very common. Growing up in Singapore, we would know more or less about each other culture. Like the Malay, during their new year, they give ‘green’ packets unlike the Chinese who will give ‘red’ packets.
In term of language, most of us tend to speak Mother Tongue to our friends of the same race. Thus it is common for you and your friend to speck Mandarin. However, being a Malay, your friend, Siti, does not understand what both of you are talking. Unable to join your conversion, she had to keep quiet and had a feeling of being left out. As what you said, we should be more sensitive to our friend of different race. Not to left them out due to the language barrier,we can be more sensitive to their present. Thus, in Singapore, English is our national lanuage, and in schools, it is our primary language.
What we can do is to speak English when friends of other races are around, so that they can join the conversion. Or when you unknowingly speak Mandarin to your Chinese friend, you can translate what both of you are talking to Siti, so that she will not feel awkward.
Hi Xue xin,
In a multicultural society such as Singapore, I believed that such situation is likely to occur and encounter in areas of workplace or in school when we are grouped to do an assignment or project. We tend to speak in our Mother Tongue language when we are with close friends, forgetting there is a non-Chinese friend with us until we are reminded of ‘Channel 5 please!’ I must say that it is not a purpose act if I speak mandarin in front of Malays friends, it just slip off my mind.
I experienced similar situation like what you had described in your blog. It happened to me when I was working as a part-timer during my vacation. That day was my first day to work, and during lunch time, my friendly colleagues asked me out for lunch with them, and so I went lunch with them. My colleagues were all non-chinese and I really feel left out, awkward and boring during my lunch time. They tend to talk Malay or other non-chinese language as some of them are foreigners. They did speak English but only when they are communicating with me and other than that, they will not and I hardly know what they were talking over the lunch conversation.
Thus, one of the strategies for effective communication is to reflect ourselves as a communicator constantly so that we can communicate effectively with people no matter where they come from and who they are.
Cheers~~~
Seow Teng
Hi Xuexin,
Many Singaporean chinese can identify with the above situation since we tend to hand out with our chinese frinds more than those of other races.
Awkwardness and miscommunication can be avoided by some awareness by both parties. The chinese-speaking people must be conscious that one of the members do not speak chinese and thus refrain from speaking in mandarin so as to accord the necessary respect.
For the Siti (or any person not being able to understand the language spoken), in the event that the above situation happens, she must be able to remind therest that she cannot understand. She must also understand that it is a human tendency to be inclined towards speaking in one's mother tongue and not that the rest are talking about something they do not want her to know about.
Once again, effective communication is always bi-directional. Unhappiness can be avoided if people are a bit more aware of things around them.
Cheers!
nic
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